I recently began working again personally with my long term mentor Martine Moorby.
I started working with Martine in my late 20s in a midst of what I now know was a probable breakdown. I had left a boyfriend of 8 years and despite this being my decision I literally couldn’t stop crying. I first sought help with a psychotherapist, having seen a counsellor whilst at uni but without much benefit. After a few sessions he recommend Martine who he said was an expert on “emotions” and so my relationship with Martine was born.
She helped me realise that my crying was less about the break up and more about emotions I was carrying which I’d never processed. She helped me develop emotionally as I realised I literally didn’t understand how to understand my feelings and so I was often seen as “overly emotional” especially at work. She also introduced me to Reiki and spiritual health which I’d not known too much about and often dismissed as “woo woo” until her down to earth and logical approach resonated with me.
In a nutshell she helped me learn to connect to me, to my soul (there’s a reason that’s why the studio is called that) and to form better relationships with myself, my career and those around me.
Our relationship become a friendship over the years with me helping out with some marketing bits and pieces and her giving me space to talk through things like my miscarriages, feeling like I couldn’t experience joy when my daughter was born and a million other things. She regularly helps me to get out of my thinking brain (which I am always drawn to do, a perpetual over-thinker) and instead learn to feel emotions in my body. And here is where our synergy is, as this is what I love to do via my movement teaching.
Then 2020 happened and despite this being a year when I probably needed the most support: pandemic, new baby, new business and everything that goes with all of this, I did what I always did. I went numb emotionally and my thinking brain did a lot of overthinking - the strategy that has served me whenever survival has been called for over the years. But in January 2021, just as my son approached his first birthday I realised I needed to switch tracks again and begin to connect and to feel.
I also recognised that as a mum of two and with everything that we’re all experiencing right now I literally never have time for myself and that the way I was living just wasn’t sustainable. I was irritable and I didn’t like the kind of mum I was becoming. Plus I never had time to think about what I wanted. What MY goals were for the future and how to feel comfortable with uncertainty.
So I decided to book an online session and have since committed to a 90 minute session ever 2/3 weeks. Because having a space for me to talk, not about anything difficult I’ve really dealt with that stuff, but rather as a way to have space for me. To understand who I am and what brings me joy. And in fact that’s what I’ve been working on: joy.
To really spend time thinking about what makes me feel joyful. And let that feeling drive me, my business and my goals rather than my over thinking brain which mostly likes to tie me up in knots and burn me out.
And I’ve realised this is easier than it sounds. That it’s a practice. I’ve started using Reiki again, on myself, the children and my husband’s tennis elbow (!) which has helped me start to feel connected again. In a world where we’ve lost so much connection, to feel the wonder of the universe, the energy that’s around us and within us has felt really powerful and I can already begin to feel a shift. More of a sense of ease and space.
I’ve been working on really understanding things that make me feel “expansive” and things that make me feel “contracted”. To tune into the bodily feelings of the things that are joyful both in work and in life and also the things which I really don’t like to do. Not in a thinking head way but in a bodily energetic way. I’ve realised it’s a practice to really understand and trust a “gut feeling”. I don’t have any magical solutions to the challenges that face me and all of us collectively right now but I’m not sure anyone can actually have any real answer right now, but this approach has left me feeling much more positive. Much more connected to my family, to myself, to my own health. In short, cultivating living in a feeling of joy.
This experience is what led me to creating our newest challenge "A Moment for Me”. For you to find 10 minutes a day to move, breathe and connect each day for 10 minutes.
To see if 10 minutes can provide a positive shift in your energy, your mood, your body and you life.
We begin this challenge on 7th February (although you can start later!) and end it with a morning retreat on Saturday 20th February with a little movement from me and then a workshop from Martine taking your practice to a deeper, energetic and maybe spiritual level.